Guy and Pie
by mantinemaniac
Summary: Based off of All Your Pie by Legendary Frog Studios, and starring, you guessed it, Guy!


lugiamania: I was inspired by this after watching All Your Pie by Legendary Frog Studios.  
Guy: Why'd you make me the main character?!  
lugiamania: Sorry! But You were the best one for it!  
Matthew: Yeah, you _are _pretty dorky.  
Guy: Grr, Matthew!  
lugiamania: Now, now, let's not get mad. Anyway, I don't own All Your Pie or anything related to it. I just decided to make a parody of it cuz I loved it so much, so please don't sue! .  
Matthew: Yeah, and if you do, Pent will blast your ass into next week.  
Guy: So in short, just leave us alone, you lawsuits!  
lugiamania: Oh, and kudos to Ivanfanatic for Karel and french toast! Sorry I didn't ask you beforehand! . To make up for it, I dedicate this story to you! I hope you like it!  
  
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It was a beautiful day, with the sun shining and birds chirping. The wind gently breezed by, ruffling Guy's bangs a little as he sat eating his breakfast.   
_Ah, today's wonderful. Maybe I'll be able to get Matthew to spar with me later. He won't get away this time!'_ Guy entertained a thought of pushing Matthew into the river as he chewed his french toast, courtesy of Karel. That's it Matthew! You're going down! Guy shouted to no one in particular, although Rebecca did give him a weird look as she headed down to practice with Wil. Guy hurried to finish his toast so he could catch Matthew before the thief got a chance to sneak away. He was half done when Lowen appeared, carrying a freshly baked pie in his hands.  
Mm, that smells good Lowen. What kind of pie is it? Guy asked, sniffing at the pie's delicious, fresh-out-of-the-oven smell.  
Blueberry. It's for tonight's dessert. Lowen replied, gently setting down the pie, which was baked to perfection, a beautiful golden brown.  
It looks great Lowen, and I bet it'll taste even better! Guy complimented. Lowen was just about to reply when Marcus's voice was heard ringing throughout the campsite.  
LOWEN!! YOU BETTER GET YOUR REAR DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW, BOY!  
Oh boy, I forgot all about Marcus's training! Lowen paled slightly at the thought of Marcus fuming, and quickly dashed off.  
Now Guy, don't you eat this pie! Lowen shouted as he ran towards Merlinus's tent.  
Don't worry, I won't! Guy shouted back at Lowen's disappearing form. What kind of person does he take me for? I'm a Sacaean, and Sacaeans never lie. Guy muttered to himself. _Besides, I have self control like he wouldn't believe.'_ Guy thought to himself, smiling smugly. _Oh yeah, self control. I'm fine with my french toast. I don't need that pie, with its soft, flaky crust, and its warm, gooey, blueberry filling, and its-'_  
Guy snapped out of his reverie and shook his head furiously. _Whew, that was a close one. But what'd I say? I have self control.'_ Guy calmed down and resumed eating his french toast. He didn't notice his left hand creeping towards the pie like Jaws.  
Huh? No! Bad hand, bad hand! Guy's french toast went flying through the air as he wrenched his hand back in place.  
_I need to think of something else. Umm, let's see, ooh, I know! A Killing Edge!'_ Guy had to resist the urge to drool. _Okay, it's a Killing Edge, but it's not very interesting...ooh, I can be wielding it! Mwahaha! I'll get you yet Matthew!'_ Guy played a scene of his Killing Edge breaking Matthew's Steel Sword in his mind, smiling almost maniacally. As Guy stood over Matthew crowing in triumph, Matthew took out a blueberry pie and started eating it. Guy shook his head once more.  
_That was weird...'_ his thoughts trailed off as he suddenly noticed he was on the edge of the bench.  
This can't be good.  
THUMP! Guy hit the ground with his braid slapping him in the face.  
  
Guy stealthily snuck up onto the table, like a predator stalking its prey, he towered over the pie.   
Ooh, soo...hungry... Guy moaned, clutching his stomach and remembering the half-finished french toast that went sailing through the air. But, must...not...eat...delicious...baked...good! Guy couldn't take it any longer.  
You're not eating that pie, are you? Lowen's voice suddenly rang through the air.  
Guy was was looming over the pie, salivating with his mouth open.  
Nuh uh.  
Okay, I'll be back soon.  
Uh huh.  
LOWEN, ARE YOU DOWN WITH YOUR LANCE THRUSTS YET?!  
U-uh, a-almost, Sir Marcus! The sound of Lowen's horse gradually faded away as he rushed back to training.  
_It's okay, just don't think about pie, don't think about pie, don't think about pie.'_ Guy mentally chanted and tried to push the thought of pie out of his brain. Luckily for Guy, Priscilla walked by, singing a nice song. Guy sighed and concentrated on her voice instead of the you-know-what. Unfortunately, two seconds later, Bartre just happened by talking to Dorcas, his loud voice blasting whatever thoughts Guy had out of his head.  
Hey Dorcas! Did you hear?!  
Hear what?  
I heard that the bakery in the village exploded! I bet it's raining pies everywhere! Bartre reported, excited at the prospect of free food.   
Is that so? Dorcas raised an eyebrow, not quite believing what his big-muscled but small-brained companion said, but he kept that to himself.  
Hey! I bet we can get all the pies we want there! C'mon Dorcas, let's go!  
Hey, wai- Dorcas didn't even get to finish his sentence before Bartre dragged him off.  
_Don't worry, it's just a coincidence. Yeah, that's it, it has to be.'_ Guy tried to calm himself down, but suddenly his vision got very blurry, and he felt like the earth was spinning too fast. Suddenly, a deep voice rang through the air.  
Greetings, Guy!  
Huh? Who's there? Guy looked around, but he saw no one around.  
I am the pie. the voice replied. Guy stared down at the pie.  
No you're not. he sneered.  
Yes I am.  
Guy hid under the table, fearing what the talking pie might do to him. What do you want with me? he asked, cautiously lifting his head up.  
Guy, I have one simple request from you; I want you, to eat me!  
What? No way, Sacaeans never lie! Besides, Lowen said not to, and everyone's going to get mad at me!  
Come on Guy, you know you want to. I'm SO delicious! Look at me! the pie taunted, daring Guy to eat him.  
No! Must...resist...temptations! Guy strained to keep himself from lunging at the pie.  
Oh, why am I even bothering? I bet you're just too cowardly to do it! You're probably not man enough to handle me, you little pansy boy!  
What'd you say? Guy slowly asked as he felt his blood starting to boil. No one called him that and got away with it! Well, not alive anyway. Say that again... he dared the pie, his words laced with venom.  
I would, but I'm afraid that I would overload your little pea-brain mind!  
You take that back! Guy was reaching his limit.  
Come on Guy, EAT ME!  
That's it! You're going down! GLADIATOR!! Guy charged in with his Killing Edge.  
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What the hell?! What happened here?! Lowen demanded when he came back to camp. Guy's face was smeared in blueberry filling and his clothes were stained. The benches and tables had smears of blue on them. And Lowen managed to catch Guy's Killing Edge leaning to the side, also covered in pie filling. It looked like the pie had exploded in Guy's face or something.  
I'm not going to deny it. I ate the pie. Guy said truthfully, wiping his face on his sleeve.  
You'd better have a good explanation for this, young man! Lowen scowled, and started reaching for his lance.   
Guy gulped. He knew swords were weak against lances, and if Lowen got a hold of him, well, he didn't even want to _think_ about that.   
_Come on Guy, think! Do something!' _his brain screamed at him. Suddenly, a light bulb went off in Guy's head.  
Hey, is that Marcus I see? Guy yelled, hoping Lowen would fall for it. The green-haired cavalier whirled around, with a panicked look on his face.  
he asked, frantically scouting the area.  
Guy took this opportunity and ran, using his speed to his advantage.  
COME BACK HERE, YOU LITTLE THIEF!!  
Is someone talking about me?  
Oh, shut up and help me, Matthew!  
Well, I suppose, but this means you now owe me your life again.  
  
  
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lugiamania: Well, I hope it wasn't too bad. I tried to add in some original elements of my own.  
Guy: Gyah, I'm so embarassed. ///  
lugiamania: Aww, that's okay Guy, it was only a story.  
Matthew: Still, story or not, I'd beat you any day, with my hands tied behind my back!  
Guy: Oh yeah?! I'd like to see you try! *takes out Killing Edge*  
lugiamania: You guys! Stop it!  
Matthew/Guy: *big dustball forms*  
lugiamania: PENT-SAMA!!!!!!!!!  
Pent: You called?  
lugiamania: *big teary eyes* Pent, could you please stop them?  
Pent: ^^;; Sure thing. ELFIRE!!  
Matthew/Guy: *burnt to a crisp*  
lugiamania: WAII!! Thank you Pent!! I love you!! *hug* o^^o  
Pent: *blushes slightly* Well, I need to get going now. Louise wants me home early tonight.  
lugiamania: Ooh, doing somethin' _special_ tonight, eh?  
Pent: WHAT?! NO! N-not like that!! *blushes madly*  
lugiamania: Riight, sure ya ain't. Ja, thanks for reading my fic you guys! I hope you liked it! I highly recommend seeing the original flash animation at http:// www. flashplayer .com/ animation/ allyourpie. html, as well as their other works. See you guys around!  
  



End file.
